Source: Wikimedia Commons |
Monday, March 26, was the worst day of my life.
And on
Monday, March 26, I came home from a traumatic experience, opened up my email
and found a blog post by Greg Johnson on the ACFW Blog entitled "My Day in Prison."
I couldn't
believe what I was reading.
God is
into details. His timing is perfect. It amazes me how our Lord orchestrates the
logistics of our lives to give us exactly what we need when we need it. I don't
know why I marvel. He says He takes care of the little sparrow so why wouldn't
He tell Greg Johnson to write what I needed and post it on the day I needed it?
And why
wouldn’t He give the idea of ACFW to
someone because He knew that Karla Akins would need Greg Johnson to post on the
ACFW organization's blog?
That’s just like Him. He is faithful. And I’m grateful.
In that
post on March 26, Greg Johnson talks about how very much prisoners need what we
write. He interviewed a prisoner who said that books get passed around in
prison. “Books communicate, through
story, God’s grace and the love of Jesus
in a form that women can grasp. A woman can get swept away into the love of God
through a story, well told."
When I came home that day I wanted to
crawl into bed, curl up in a fetal position and plead with God to just let me die. I
wanted to wallow in self-pity and sorrow.
But the
ACFW blog post was the first thing I read when I opened my email so I couldn't. I knew God had His eye on me and was carrying me, bloody, wounded
and bruised because I barely had the will to breathe or the strength to pray or
the resolve to stand.
This was
the day the vivid colors in my life disappeared and my world became shades of
gray.
Because
you see, on this day, Monday, March 26, my oldest son went to prison.
My
27-year-old golden boy, born on Easter Sunday, father of three beautiful little
girls, is addicted to meth.
I write
this, five days after my son's sentencing, not in a fetal position in my bed,
but from a small writing conference where Dave Lambert is one of our anointed
speakers. He said something profound yesterday I just have to share with you (part of this quote is attributed to Eugene Petersen):
"Once upon a time there was a great truth
teller named Jesus. Because He knew the Truths He decided to be a great story
teller. Why did Jesus teach in stories?
Jesus was a master of subversion. His favorite speech form, the parable,
was subversive. The [parables] sounded ordinary; secular; of his 40 parables
only one has a setting in church and only a couple mention the name of God.
Nothing in them threatened their own sovereignty. Like a time bomb they would
explode in their unprotected hearts.
Jesus continually threw odd stories along ordinary lives and walked away
without explanation or altar call."
Will you
follow in Jesus' footsteps and keep writing so that the lost, like my darling
boy, will hear His Voice? There's a blindness that only God's grace can heal.
Please
don't give up. I need you. The world needs to hear what God has to say through
you. God gave you the dream for a reason, and it's not all about you.
Someone's
life depends on your perseverance.
“Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work
shall be rewarded. 2 Chronicles 15:7”
Karla Akins is
a pastor's wife, mother of five, grandma to five beautiful little
girls and author of O Canada! Her Story. She lives in North Manchester with her husband, twin teenage
boys with autism, and three rambunctious dogs. Her favorite color is purple,
favorite hobby is book-hoarding, and favorite food group is cupcakes.
What a day you had, and don't answers come at the strangest of times from the strangest of places? My prayers are with your son and his family, that all strides from here go forward. And with you, too, because I'm a mom and a nana, too, and understand about bent hearts.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for understanding how much I need prayers. I know it's the prayers of my friends that is getting me through this time. I feel them holding me up. Thanks for your comments, Liz!
DeleteVery nice post. Thanks for sharing. I just joined ACFW. Now following this blog.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to ACFW, Holly!
DeleteMay God's strength be with you, your son, and the entire family, and may the rights words written or spoken roll away the stone that holds his heart. I agree, God is so good. Thanks for being so encouraging and so confrontation, we authors all need to hear this from time to time, that it's about God and His love, not us.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, Mary. And I do appreciate so much your prayers. I love your choice of words in "rolling away the stone" because God spoke to my heart about that very thing. When I was angry with many questions He reminded me that He, too, saw His Son imprisoned and that one day, my son will also rise again from the pit into grace. Thanks for reading! God bless you as your write to free imprisoned souls!
DeleteOh my, Karla! Your post really touched my heart. And I am so glad God touched you on that day in March. He really, really is there with you--and with your son.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your pain with your readers, as well as your blessing through someone else's words and story. Isn't God just so amazing beyond our wildest imaginings?
Blessings to you and your family. --Cheryl
Cheryl, thanks for reading my post and it means so much to have you on my team! You are right -- we can't begin to imagine the depth and breadth of God!
DeletePowerful, Karla. I'm sorry for your pain! I'm also inspired by your ability to let God work in and through you even in your pain. In you to comfort & give you hope, because you know if God will lovingly bring you such a message, then you know your son is also loved and in God's hands; and through you because you have encouraged me to hang in there and see the bigger picture and not give up when what "I" hope to see isn't on the horizon. God has a bigger purpose and a bigger plan than we can see. Thank you for reaching out to encourage others in the midst of your sorrow. May you also be encouraged.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Camille, you are such a huge blessing in my life and I'm grateful for your encouragement and prayers. This writing thing is so much bigger than us! His timing is so perfect. If only we all could just rest in it and not be such wiggly wrestlers. His plan and purposes are so perfect. Thanks for your encouragement. Keep writing, Camille! I need you! The world needs you!
DeleteI read this with tears in my eyes. I am praying for you and your son and those three little girls. But what a wonderful message you bring to the rest of us. Thank you for writing through your pain.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much I appreciate your prayers for my son and his daughters. That's the hardest part for me -- seeing those little girls cry for their daddy. But I know that God is a Father to the Fatherless and He is faithful. He is faithful, He is worthy, He is True, and it's only by His grace I can write. Your compassion for my circumstances means so much. Thanks for reading and your comments and prayers.
DeleteThanks for sharing how God prepared some balm for your hurting soul, Karla. Blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Rick. And thanks for reading!
DeleteWhat a beautiful, powerful post! God is amazing, his love endless. I love how he works in our lives and gives us these lovely surprises. Prayers and hugs for you as you go through this valley!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessica. I'm so glad God brought you into my life and that you're on my team! Congratulations on your book coming out this month! Woot!!
DeleteMy turn. I know I'm a late-comer, but that is an encouragement. As I posted on a blog earlier today (but written more recently than this one), I have one project I feel led to work on, and realize it could slow down my writing. Likewise, between wondering if I'm good enough to get published and if there will be the freedom to publish Christian fiction long enough for my book to be published even if I found one today, sometimes I wonder what's the use. It seems foolish. But from 1 Corinthians 1-2, that sounds like something God would have in mind.
ReplyDeleteI hope this isn't so late and so far down that this doesn't minister to someone. Hope you all have a blessed day.
Jeff
Thanks, Jeff. Don't quit! Someone needs to read what you write!
DeleteKarla,
ReplyDeleteI'm only reading this now, and I'm so touched. Thanks so much for sharing this post. You've given me inspiration to persevere. I pray the Lord restores your son.
Thanks for your comments and your precious spirit, Melanie. I know that God will use your talent to reach His children! Write on!!
Delete