I’ve mentioned before how my writing journey has become intertwined with my spiritual journey in Christ. I am convinced now they are forever linked.
I have accepted that for my journey as a writer to advance, I must keep moving forward with Jesus, my Lord and Savior.
I must be willing to be soft and pliable.
I must be willing to repent when He exposes hidden sin in my life.
Sometimes I must wait for answers. And I have found that when I wait with expectation, God does answer.
The story I’m working on is one of two story ideas I got in my teens along with my “call” to write. I knew this was it; what God made me to do. Creating stories was so fun!
But I also noticed almost immediately that my friends – who did not feel compelled to write anything – were much better writers than me.
|courtesy of graphicstock.com|
And God in His goodness blessed my efforts. I loved my classes. Every writing class had my complete attention and I got to write for a living for six years as a reporter/editor. I loved it. The hours and stress just about killed me, but I loved it.
Flash forward a mere 25 years later from my initial call to the present time and yet another failed attempt to place in a contest.
Until recently I have failed rather gracefully, if I do say so myself. Kept my chin up and took the constructive criticism in stride. But not this time. My reaction to this rejection was different.
This time I seethed. And to my ultimate shame, I directed that anger at God – the most powerful being in this and all universes who could make me a little grease spot on the floor, if He wanted to.
I think I even (I’m wincing as I write this) literally shook my fist at the heavens and said, “What are you doing to me? Why me? Why did you give this story to me?”
Have you ever been there? Am I the only one? You want to know what He said?
“Are you ready to do this my way now?”
I was like, “Wha?” Such a succinct, intelligent response all while sporting a Patrick Starfish look on my face I’m sure. I had to let that sink in for a minute. Finally I said, “I thought I was.”
Wow! What a revelation, huh?
So after positioning myself to humbly ask for God’s forgiveness and listen to Him, I asked again, “So why me? I’m obviously not up to the task. I thought you gave this story to me because I’m the only one who can write it.”
Basically, the answer was “No.” I wasn’t chosen for what I bring to the table.
I found my answer in a Bible my grandpa gave to my grandma for Christmas many years ago. In it was a narrow bookmark that says, “My grace is sufficient for thee.” It still didn’t make sense to me until I read 2 Cor. 12:9 in the New Living Translation: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
Oh. That’s why God chose me to write this story, so I can proclaim with the Apostle Paul the rest of the verse: “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
Just like salvation, it’s not what I bring to the equation, it’s what He brings to it – Grace.
So now you know why I’m feeling small and am in awe of the Almighty God who is also my gracious Heavenly Father. Grace indeed.
Humbly submitted by H.T. Lord