Tug of War

I've had this push-and-pull relationship with my writing lately. Most of it has been pushing...me pushing myself to be better, to send out query letters, to fulfill requests, to write blog posts, to be "perfect". Yes, I am a perfectionist and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

On New Year's Eve, God whispered something across my soul and got my attention, sort of like putting a drop of hydrogen peroxide on a skinned knee and feeling the burn. He told me to slow down. To wait on Him and see what He has in store. To take my focus off my writing and put it on Him. To focus on being a woman of God and letting Him guide my next steps. To neither push nor pull but to sit in His cradle of wisdom and let Him move me where He wants me to go.

And you know what I've discovered this past week? Surrendering to Him frees me to enjoy the ride.

Where are you in the push-and-pull game? Have you had any hydrogen-peroxide whispers that burn at first but lead to healing?

*photo by Bill Longshaw / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sometimes I Wish Jesus Was Kidding

Jesus is talking to me at Panera. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. A slave is not greater than his master. He who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it. A dear friend of mine says, "Every time I think I've died the last death, I'm asked to die a new way." Here comes another death: give up more writing time to serve. Just when I thought I'd hit an comfortable stride between writing and giving I find He is asking for more serving. Are You sure? Isn’t writing serving? Do you love Me? Well, sure, but-- Then follow Me into the life of the single mom asking for time this morning. Okay, if-- And follow Me into offering counsel to young moms who want it. Now? Well, okay, but how many? And I want you to give more to your family--more generously, more widely, more wholeheartedly, expecting nothing. Isn't that a little expensive? The pain in His eyes silences me. I dared to utter anything before God? Yes, Lord.