Interview with Speculative Fiction Author, Pastor's Wife, and Familiar Name on this Blog -- Morgan L. Busse

by Jeff Reynolds

Okay, I'll admit -- I'm the only person who regularly posts interviews. But I still feel like I've got the big one this month, the one that others wish they had lined up (or considered lining up). This month, we have a former contributor to Hoosier Ink, Morgan L. Busse.

One exciting fact that I learned following to sending these questions: Morgan is a finalist this year for the coveted Christy award. She deals with that in her blog (see below).

Jeff Reynolds: Welcome to Hoosier Ink, Morgan. No, let me rephrase that. Welcome BACK to Hoosier Ink, Morgan. Your blogs have been missed here, not to mention your presence at the Indiana Chapter events. We'll get to your writing shortly, but what's been new with you since moving away from God's country here in Indiana, personally and your ACFW involvement? Yes, I'm kidding about God's country being Indiana -- we all know it's in northern Arizona.
Morgan L. Busse: Hi Jeff! It’s great to be back. As you mentioned, God moved my family from Indiana to Oz, I mean Kansas. My husband is the pastor at a fairly new church, which we love and feel is our home away from home (that is, heaven). I never thought we would live in Kansas. I love mountains, trees, and rain. But here we are and I have discovered there is a lot of beauty in Kansas.

JR:  I am intrigued by your series. Can you tell us about it and what inspired it?

MB: Originally the name of this series was supposed to be the name for the last book. But when I talked to my editor, we decided Follower of the Word would be a great name for the entire series.

This series is a Christian fantasy for the adult market. It follows four different characters, the main one a woman named Rowen Mar. Rowen has the ability to see inside the human soul with a touch of her hand. Daughter of Light is Rowen’s story: how she came to discover her power, how it affected her life, and her journey toward becoming a Truthsayer.

Son of Truth is the second book in the series. In Daughter of Light, readers are introduced to a ruthless assassin named Caleb Tala. Son of Truth continues his story, reveals who he is, and what part he will play in the final book.


JR:  From what I gather, your second book -- Son of Truth -- has the challenging aspect of a negative lead. Without giving away plot or anything, can you tell us how you managed to create a character we grow to love even while he's a bad guy?
MB:  For those of you who have not read the series, the character in reference is the man named Caleb Tala. Like I said above, he is a Temanin prince and ruthless assassin. It is always interesting to see what character readers loved or resonated with the most. So when emails and comments came flooding in with Caleb’s name, I was surprised. He’s not a nice guy!

Did I plan this? No, not really. As I was writing, there was a character standing in the shadows with a story to be told. The first time I met Caleb Tala, he had just murdered a man. Really, Morgan? This was not the kind of book I had set out to write. But Caleb would not leave.

He intrigued me. A cold-hearted murderer, driven into this profession by his thirst for gold and women. He was ambitious, focused, and prided himself in always getting the job done. But I came to realize Caleb had one fear, a fear no one else knew about because it lived deep inside him: he knew someday he would pay for the lives he took.

I had to write about him. I had to know what would happen to him. I cared about this flawed man. I think this is what makes readers like Caleb so much. He reminds us of ourselves. We are afraid because we are just as dark as he is on the inside. So we need to know: can he be saved? Because if he can, perhaps we can be too.



JR:  Your Amazon page starts off, "Morgan L. Busse writes stories about hope. She believes that in the dark times of life, there is light and draws on her own life's experiences." Okay, I believe we're in dark times. Sometimes I wonder which will be quicker -- my road to publication and this country's path to utter destruction (or at least a point where Christian publishing can be a crime). Of course, maybe I spent too much time with Uncle Eeyore when I was young. What in your stories and in your faith gives hope in this hopelessly divided country?
MB:  Jeff, I’ve been thinking the same thing. I was reading through Romans a month ago and I think chapter 1 sums up what we are seeing in our country right now: a denial of God and a descent into depravity.

But Romans 1: 16 is a light amongst the very dark and bleak picture painted by chapter 1: “For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes…” (emphasis mine).

The gospel is the light and hope for our world. It is the very power of God at work. It can save any and all, and it cannot be stopped. That is what I place my faith in. It is what I write about. I am not preachy, but I don’t hold back where the real power in my world comes from. It is not in strength, it is not in magic, it is in the power the Word has to forgive the darkness inside us and change us into new people.


JR:  I'm sure the speculative authors here are familiar with Lord Marcher Press. Could you tell us about them? And I'm especially interested in one selection they have -- But Who Would Be Dumb Enough To Even Try It? Are you part of that effort?
MB:  Marcher Lord Press is an indie publishing company that specializes in award winning Christian speculative fiction. MLP was started by Jeff Gerke, an editor who worked for various Christian publishing houses. He grew tired of seeing great speculative manuscripts come across his desk that he had to refuse because they would never make it past the board due to their genre. So he started his own company and Marcher Lord Press was born. MLP will be celebrating 5 years this upcoming October. To find out more about MLP, here is the website: http://www.marcherlordpress.com

But Who Would Be Dumb Enough To Even Try It? is a story collaboration between seven MLP Authors. Each week one of us would write the next chapter in the story. I was one of the participants. I enjoyed seeing how unique each of our writing voices were, but how they all came together to tell a very interesting fantasy story about band of thieves brought together by greed and a righteous calling.

JR:  From what I gather on one of your recent blogs, you're a preacher's wife. How does that ministry and other activities you're in feed into your writing and vice versa?
MB:  As a pastor’s wife, much of my life is immersed in the Christian world, which can be a good thing and a bad thing. One of my observations in ministry is that sometimes we as Christians define ourselves more by where we go (name of church) or what we do (name of ministry) than by who we are (followers of Christ).

It is this idea that made me want to write a world where I ask questions like:

• What is a Christian really?
• What does it mean to follow God?
• Why do bad things happen to good people?
• What if we saw people the way God does: broken and full of darkness?

As far as balancing both ministry and writing (as well as being a mother and wife), it comes down to priorities for me. My family is first. Then writing and ministry. I have had to learn how to say no to things. I can’t do it all. It also takes me longer to write a book (I write a book a year). But in the end, it is worth it.

JR:  What's next on the agenda, both with writing and other wise?
MB:  I am currently working on the third and last book for the Follower of the Word series. Then I am planning on working on a whole new series that is set in a steampunk world (steampunk is a work of either science fiction or fantasy that usually takes place in an alternate history of 19th century Victorian era or American “Wild West” where steam is the main source of power). Mine will be a fantasy set in the Victorian Era that revolves around the lives of a bounty hunter and a young woman from high society.

JR:  Thank you for your time, Morgan. Could you direct us to your webpage, as well as where those who miss your blogging on Hoosier Ink can go to get their fix?
MB:  Thank you, Jeff, for your wonderful interview. Here are places people can find me:

• Website: www.morganlbusse.com
• Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/morganlbusseauthor
• Twitter: http://twitter.com/MorganLBusse (@MorganLBusse)

My Editor, My Coach

I ran track and field in high school. Hurdles to be precise. I had this one coach who felt I had potential in the 300 meter hurdles. For those of you who don’t know much about track, its one of the most grueling races (in my opinon). You run almost a quarter mile as fast as you can—on your toes—while leaping over hurdles.

As you come around the curve and face the last 100 meters, you wonder how in all the world you’re going to make it to the finish line. You can barely breath, your calves burn, and you’re crying. Somewhere along the haze of pain you wonder why you didn’t chose some other sport, like tennis.

I am finding an editor is much like a coach. You work months and years to perfect your writing so that an editor will finally give your manuscript a second look and offer that coveted contract. But when the edits start coming, you wonder what he or she ever saw in your story.

What your editor saw… is potential. The skills are there, the story is great and it has a possible market. But the manuscript isn’t quite there, not yet.

So a good editor gets to work. And the newly contracted author wonders why she didn’t take up knitting instead :).

I am now entering the last phase of edits. It’s been hard. Really hard. But I have also learned a lot of good stuff. My editor has pushed me, helped me, and encouraged me. He knows I can do it (even when I've despaired). He's a good coach. And for that, I am thankful.

***

On that note, I am also thankful for the wonderful writers I have met this past year through the ACFW Indiana Chapter. God is moving my family to another state, and so I will no longer be a part of your group. So this is my last official post with Hoosier Ink. However, I will not completely disappear. I hope to see many of you at conferences and online. And once in a while, I might even stop by with a special guest post.

Morgan L. Busse is the wife of a pastor and mother of four children. She is passionate about authentic Christianity and shares from her own life her fears, doubts, and triumphs as a follower of Jesus Christ. Along with blogging, Morgan also writes speculative fiction and is contracted with Marcher Lord Press for her first book Daughter of Light. To find out more, visit her blog In Darkness there is Light.

God

Just that one word calms me, reminds me why I write, and that He is in control, even when everything is spinning the other way. When I worry about what others will think of my book, I remember I am writing for an audience of One. When I worry about juggling work, family, and writing, I remember how many times I have placed my work in His hands and that He has always provided time for me to write without neglecting family or job.

Lately, I have found myself praying to God more about my writing. I now have deadlines, edits that need to be done, marketing, interviews, and websites to set up. Panic starts to set in and my heart beats faster. How am I going to do all this? Then God calmly whispers and reminds me that its not my book at all, it’s a gift He has given me to share with others. I do my best and He will accomplish His will through my work.

I don’t know how other authors do it without God in their lives. How do they face the pressure, the critics, and the self-doubt? I know tough skin is an attribute writers need to develop. But going to my Heavenly Father with my burdens and fears gives me more peace than facing it on my own.


“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7

Morgan L. Busse is the wife of a pastor and mother of four children. She is passionate about authentic Christianity and shares from her own life her fears, doubts, and triumphs as a follower of Jesus Christ. Along with blogging, Morgan also writes speculative fiction and is contracted with Marcher Lord Press for her first book Daughter of Light. To find out more, visit her blog In Darkness there is Light.

How I became a Writer

How did I become a writer? Most authors I know begin their story with something about when they were six they knew they wanted to be a writer. Not so with me. When I was six I wanted to be a pegasus unicorn (probably explains why I write fantasy now).

I never dreamed of being a writer. In high school, I loved science and math, not English and certainly not writing. So how did I start? It began when I walked into a Christian bookstore and asked if they carried any Christian fantasy. The woman gave me a strange look and pointed to a lone Frank Peretti book at the end of the book aisle.

I went home stunned. That’s it? Just Frank Peretti? (by the way, I like his stuff, but I wanted more). After talking to my husband, he suggested maybe I should write. Yeah right. But the thought stuck with me. Then on a long car trip to Seattle, I had an idea for a book. I went home and wrote. I was naïve back then. I thought a writer sat down, wrote a book, found someone to publish it and that was that. Eight years later, I now know there is a whole lot more to the writing process.

I wrote for two years, just writing out the story in my head. Then I discovered there was a writing group in Oregon and that they were having a one-day conference in a couple weeks. I signed up. That one-day conference changed my writing life.

I met Randy Ingermanson (who was the guest speaker that day). For anyone who is thinking about writing fiction, you need to check out his website here. I went home and immediately signed up for his ezine and began to follow his blog. A couple months later, I followed Randy’s advice and signed up for the Mt Hermon Writing Conference.

Mt Hermon was another pivotal point in my writing life. For five days I met with hundreds of other Christian writers, learning how to write better, how to seek publication, met some great agents and publishers and came home ready to take my writing from a hobby to an earnest pursuit.

I spent the following year just writing. By the end of that year, I had a finished, polished manuscript.

In 2010 I was able to attend Mt Hermon again and this time had a manuscript to share with publishers and editors. At this second conference, I ran into Rebecca Luella Miller, another pivotal person in my writing life. It was Becky who told me I should blog. Once again my thoughts were yeah right. How? When? And what would I write about? But with her gentle encouragement, I jumped into the blogging world.

It is now 2011 and I am still on my writing journey. Writing is a long, patient process. It requires self discipline, a willingness to learn the craft, and lots and lots of time. I’ll admit if I had known eight years ago what it took to be a writer, I would have been overwhelmed. But here I am and I love it. I thank God for this medium by which I can share my life, my creative ideas, and His truth.
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Morgan L. Busse is the wife of a pastor and mother of four children. She is passionate about authentic Christianity and shares from her own life her doubts, fears, and triumphs as a follower of Jesus Christ. Along with blogging, Morgan also writes speculative fiction and is contracted with Marcher Lord Press for her first book Daughter of Light. To find out more, visit her blog In Darkness there is Light.

Why I Write Christian Speculative Fiction

I never set out to write Christian fantasy. In fact, I wasn’t sure what place that kind of book had in this world. Sure, there was Lewis’ Narnia series and Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. But with all the controversy over Harry Potter years ago, I didn’t know what to think. I read Star Wars, Terry Brooks, and such, but Christian fantasy? I don’t think so.

It was actually the Harry Potter controversy that made me start thinking about Christian fantasy. Could fantasy and Christianity mix? Could a good book be written where the faith element or the fantasy element was not compromised? Like I said, I never set out to do that, but in the end that is what I wrote.

Daughter of Light began as a story in my head. It was a place to play with some cool fantasy ideas. A fantasy book with a hint of faith. But as the years went by and I found myself traveling down dark roads and facing one crisis of faith after another in real life, Daughter of Light began to morph into an exploration of what it ultimately meant to follow God.

Through speculative fiction, I am able to explore what would a Christian look like if the externals generally associated with Christianity were taken away like church attendance, bible studies, or Sunday school. Now I’m not saying those are bad things (not at all), but sometimes our Christianity is defined by where we go or what we do, not by who we are.

I am also able to paint word pictures with fantasy that I could not do if I wrote about this world. For example: sin. In our world, sin is a hidden part of our nature. We see the results of sin, but not sin itself. But in a fantasy world, I can show what we look like with sin: naked, broken, with blood on our hands. Unable to heals ourselves. Helpless and bound to darkness.

Of course, there is a fun aspect to writing fantasy. I get to write outside the box, ask “what if” questions. What if we could see people the way God sees people, would we still love them? What if we could heal, but it meant taking on the hurt and pain, would we? What if you found out you’re really from another dimension (that’s a fun question :)). What if you discovered you’re not human?

I love writing Christian speculative fiction. It combines my weirdness, my creativity, and my faith. Here is a quote by C.S. Lewis that best sums up why I write Christian fantasy:

"I thought I saw how stories of this kind could steal past a certain inhibition which had paralyzed much of my own religion in childhood. Why did one find it so hard to feel as one was told one ought to feel about God or about the sufferings of Christ? I thought the chief reason was that one was told one ought to. An obligation to feel can freeze feelings. And reverence itself did harm. The whole subject was associated with lowered voices; almost as if it were something medical. But supposing that by casting all these things into an imaginary world, stripping them of their stained-glass and Sunday school associations, one could make them for the first time appear in their real potency? Could one not thus steal past those watchful dragons? I thought one could."

Rejoice and Weep

God reminded me of the verse that talks about rejoicing with those who rejoice and weeping with those who weep. He reminded me that I’m not an island. When I look past my life (and consequently, my own writing), I can experience His work in the lives of others.

So how do I rejoice with other writers? I rejoice when a fellow writer lands his first writing contract. I rejoice when another friend finals in a writing contest. I am giddy for a friend who is taking her first steps in becoming a writer (and going to her first writing conference!).

When I open myself up to enjoy the blessings God has brought into the lives of others, I find myself filled with pure and unselfish joy. My heart is light and free of envy or jealousy.

But not everyone is receiving contracts or first place. And so I also weep when those around me are going through difficulties or disappointments. I feel for a friend who did not place in the same writing contest. I weep with another friend as she receives her first rejection. I sympathize with the writer who has been writing for years and years and years and still nothing.

When I weep with those who weep, my heart connects with theirs and I lift them up to God. Their pain brings me to my knees. I believe that by weeping with them, I am helping them carry their burdens.

Rejoicing and weeping with others takes our eyes off our own lives (and writing). We see hope. We enjoy God’s blessings through others. We have an opportunity to comfort those hurting with the same comfort God is gives us.

So this week, let us rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). Especially with our fellow writers.

How I Became Part of Marcher Lord Press

I first heard about Marcher Lord Press through a blog interview a few years ago. By then, I knew enough about the writing industry to know that publishing a Christian fantasy would be difficult. Hardly any Christian publishing companies were taking those kinds of books. They wanted romance, historical, Amish. Not a fantasy set in a different world. Not my kind of book.

Then I read Randy’s interview with a man named Jeff Gerke. Jeff was starting a new publishing company that would only produce Christian science fiction and fantasy. He saw a market out there that no one was reaching. So he was going to reach it.
After reading that interview, I turned to Dan and said, “My book might have a home someday.” I never realized how true those words would become.
I watched Marcher Lord Press with interest. I watched the books produced. I read the books. And they were good. Really good. I was still finishing my own book at the time, but I knew when I was done, I wanted to submit it to Marcher Lord Press.

Later that spring, I went to the Mt Hermon Writing conference with a finished book in hand, ready to show it to agents and publishers. I also met Jeff there. I told him about my book. He seemed interested and told me to submit it. But he also warned me that it would take 12-18 months for him to get back to me about it. That was fine with me.
I went home and sent off my manuscript. I also sent it off to a couple others who were interested. Then I started writing the second book. I heard back from the others. The message was the same: good book, but not for us. I didn’t lose heart. I knew I suppose to write. But that didn’t necessarily mean I would be published.

Then life happened. Dan and I found ourselves at a crossroads a couple months ago after he was let go from the church we were serving at. All thoughts of publishing disappeared from my mind. Instead, I found myself in God’s crucible. I was being reshaped and reforged by grief and heartache. Dan and I clung to each other and God as we sought what we should do next. We came out of that time with a strong love and desire to reach people with God’s love. So we decided to church plant.
But how did publishing fit in with that? I didn’t know. We were beginning a whole new way of life with me working full time and Dan taking care of the kids, going to school, and planting Living Grace Church. I finally knelt down one night and gave my writing to God. I was willing to give it up if God so chose.

After work last Friday, I received an email from Jeff. I waited until the kids were in bed. Then I did the dishes, all the while praying. Then I sat down and opened the email. His first words were would I like to be a Marcher Lord?
I ran to Dan’s office crying. Poor Dan, he couldn’t figure out if they were good tears or sad tears. I finally said he wants my book. Then we both came running back to my computer and finished the email. Then I sent off my reply. Yes, I wanted to be a Marcher Lord.

I couldn’t believe it. I walked around the house the next two days in a daze. I felt that gut twisting sensation you get when the roller coaster reaches the top and you’re looking down right before the plunge: excited and terrified. The contract came in. I read over it a couple times, had Dan read it, then signed it.

Monday, the news broke and life has not been the same since.
So that’s my writing journey. There have been a lot of people who have supported me, encouraged me, and pushed me to the next level the last few years. To name them all here would take a lot of space. You all know who you are. Thank you my friends!

Building Character

Characters can be tricky to build. I found it took weeks or even months for me to fully find myself inside a character’s head. But with deadlines now looming on the horizon, I do not have the luxury of letting characters simmer until well done. I need to know them now.

I’ve been busy the last few weeks nailing down the tweaks on a couple characters. And since I have this milling around inside my head, I thought I would share the questions/method I have been using.

1) Name. Even though I write fantasy, I like names that are familiar yet different and pronounceable.

2) Age. Obvious one, how old is the character?

3) Race. Irish? Jewish? Alien? Hobbit? What race is this character?

4) Core Personality. This is really the skeleton by which every other part of my character hangs on. I use a combo between Meyers-Brigg and DISC. Is the character an introvert or an extrovert? High paced or slow paced? Methodical or a dreamer? Whatever the core is, the character’s personality will color every other part of his or her being.

5) Physical appearance. Hair color? Length? Eye color? Skin? Body build? I usually go into great detail (just for my info) even going as far as eyesight and perhaps a sense more attuned than the others.

6) Birth order. Family is important and greatly influences for good or bad. Is this an only child? Siblings? Good home? Bad home? Left at the orphanage? What does my character think of his/her parents?

7) Culture. How has culture influenced my character? Is she from a tribal situation? Is he from the Depression Era? Is she technology savvy and knows how to text, twitter, email, and facebook all at the same time? What is important to that culture? Are there taboos? Does he/she fit in?

8) Religion. Christian? Atheist? Muslim? How devoted is the character?

9) Embracing God’s Approval. How does the character see his/her self? How do they think God sees them?

10) What is likable about this character? Sometimes this can be a hard one for me, especially if I am dealing with a logical bookworm. Why would others like this character?

11) How do others perceive this character? This is where I take all the other main characters and write out how they perceive this character. I also write out how this character would be perceived if met on the street. What are the first impressions?

12) Manner and topic of speech. Accent? Use big words? Proper or slang?

13) Inner journey. What is internal knot that is tripping this character up at the beginning of the book? Why is it harmful? What will happen if the character never changes? Does the character change? What causes the character to finally deal with it?

I hope these questions help you discover your character(s) beyond surfer dude, high school jock, timid housewife, or evil dictator. And to give credit where credit is due, I first heard these questions during a science fiction and fantasy writing track taught by Jeff Gerke at the 2010 Mt. Hermon Writing Conference.

God, The Author of our Lives

I have been writing for a couple years now (make that seven this up coming spring). During those years I have wrestled with characters, plots, journeys, and climaxes. I have placed obstacles before my main character so that she can grow, become stronger, and ready to face the next set of trials I have for her. Then it hit me one day. These things I do as a writer, God does with us in real life.

As the Author, God is in complete control of our lives. He knows the beginning and He knows how it’s going to end. He knows what needs to be placed in our lives to untangle that knot of sin inside of us, to make us more like His Son. He brings other people (characters) alongside of us. Some of these people help us on our journey; some of them try to hinder us. But God provides a way for us to stay on the right path.

God also knows what lies ahead of us. He will even place trials in our lives to make us stronger and ready to face the next chapter. But through the whole story, the Author (our God) is with us. He isn’t just watching our story unfold; he is guiding it, moving it along. He is intimately a part of it.

Nothing that happens to us takes God by surprise. I’m sure if my own characters could talk to me, they would ask me why all this stuff is happening to them. But I see the end. I know what the villains are planning, and if they were allowed to continue, would bring great suffering to the world. Therefore my characters need to be ready to step up when the time comes.

As a character in God’s story, I find myself asking the same thing: why is all this happening to me? But unlike my characters, I know the Author of my life. He’s writing the entire story. He sees how my life will intersect with the lives of others and how those meetings will change us both. Each thread in the story God is weaving together for the ultimate ending.

Every one of us is an important part of the story of Life. The story would be incomplete if even one of us is absent. So when the dark times come, know this: God sees how it’s all going to work out in the end. He has a plan and we are all a part of it. And when God writes The End, the story will be a masterpiece that will leave us in awe and bring Him glory.

God's Forge and Writing

I was reading through Psalms this week and ran across this verse: “Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the Lord tested Joseph’s character.” Psalm 105:19. We all know how Joseph’s story ends (he becomes second in command and reunites with his family), but I had never thought about all those years of his life that pass within the thirty seconds it takes to read in Genesis.

Here is a quick synopsis: Joseph was betrayed by his family and sold into slavery. While in Egypt, he served as a slave. He was tempted. He was lied about and unjustly imprisoned. Then he watched others released from prison while he languished in that dark place for years.

As I thought about Joseph more, I put myself in his place: the heartache brought on by the betrayal of his brothers. The fear he might have had as he was handed over to the merchants for gold. Perhaps discouragement, yet a choice to make the best of things as he took his place as a slave in Potipher’s home. The split second decision to run when Potipher’s wife tried to seduce him. The disbelief when Potipher believed his wife’s lies about him. Then the kicker: thrown into prison for doing nothing wrong.

Joseph sat in that prison for years. He was totally surrounded by darkness, both physically and emotionally (at least I would be). All he has known in his life are lies, betrayal, and hardship. He sits there day in and day out, facing a bleak existence. Perhaps he tries to hold onto the promised visions he’d had that God was going to do something great with his life, but he can’t see how that’s going to happen now as he stares at those dark dungeon walls.

Even darker thoughts may have invaded Joseph’s mind. Should he have given in to Potipher’s wife? He wouldn’t be here now if he had. Or could God be trusted? Why hadn’t God kept his promise? Why had God allowed him to be imprisoned? Maybe jealousy tempted him as he watched Pharoh’s cup-bearer leave prison. The deep, painful depression as he waits for the cup-bearer to keep his word and get Joseph out of prison, only to have days turn into weeks turn into months.

Until the time came…. God tested Joseph’s character.

I feel like I’m in God’s forge right now. When I picture a forge, I see a dark room filled with heat, sweat and pain. I see a hammer slamming down on a heated piece of metal. It takes the heat, sweat, and pain to turn ordinary metal into something extraordinary and useful. But the process can feel dark and painful.

When I read the verse above this week, things clicked for me. I put my name in that verse: “Until the time came to fulfill her dreams, the Lord tested Morgan’s character.” Yikes!

Now unlike Joseph’s dreams (which were prophetic and a promise from God), my dreams are simply aspirations of mine. I am a writer. And like most writers, I would like to be published. But is that God’s plan for my life? Is my “writing in the dark” a time when God is testing my character?

I think so.

I do not know what kind of future God is preparing me for (he certainly has not promised me a book contract). But I do know that he considers my faith “more precious than gold” (1 Peter 1:7). So into the forge I go so God can shape me into the woman I need to be.

Writing in the Dark

I began writing about six years ago. Little did I know the steep learning curve that came with that particular “hobby” or the things God would teach me through the process.

At first I wrote scenes that came to me. I fiddled around with plots, never quite knowing where I was going. As I wrote, life continued to roll by. God move my family a couple times. I had a daughter, then along came the twins. When the twins arrived, I put writing away. My days were consumed with diaper changing, feeding children, and keeping the house from burning down (forget about cleaning it… Dan did that, bless his heart lol).

By this point, I came to realize writing is hard. I thought about putting the whole endeavor behind me. After all, when could I write with four little ones running around the house? But I could not shake the bug. I had to write. I had to finish the story inside of me.

When the twins were about one, I went back to writing. Sometimes only a hundred words a day. Sometimes I went weeks without writing because my family needed me. Life interfered again and my family found ourselves on the not-so-thrilling roller coaster ride of unemployment. It was then I started channeling the fear, heartache, and my deep search for God into my writing. I finally began to understand my characters. I understood their search inside themselves to choose the easy way or to choose God’s way: many times a path of hardship. I now had a plot.

We finished the roller coaster of unemployment (and lived!). By now I was half way through my first book. I was on a roll. I began to have goals of finishing the book and trying my hand at finding a publisher for it. Then I heard God speak. I knew in my heart he was telling me to wait an entire year. I balked at the idea and pushed forward with my own goals. God slammed back (note to anyone thinking about going through a door God is closing… don’t! He can slam hard lol).

I stopped fighting God and listened to him. I quietly put my goals of publishing away and instead continued to write. I finished my manuscript halfway through that year. I had two trusted friends critique it. They found all the things I knew in my gut I needed to work on with the story. I cried (yeah, its hard to work on something for years and find out you’re not quite there yet), then picked myself up by my flip-flops straps (I don’t wear boots) and began to work on the rewrites in earnest.

I learned a lot that year. I learned to finish a book. I learned to push through writer’s block. I learned to take criticism and use it to make my book better. And I was learning to put my work as a writer into God’s hand.

December came around again. Instead of my own plans, this time I asked God his. I felt his nudge to go ahead and start exploring the world of publishing. I signed up for the Mt Hermon conference. I tidied up my one page and pitch. And unlike last year, I totally felt scared about the prospects of publishing.

I met some amazing people at the conference. I had people interested in my manuscript. And I learned even more about writing. I came home refreshed.

During that year I also came to realize how much I had learned about the gospel through the writing of my story. Its not just about being saved from hell: it’s about being saved from something inside of us, something we cannot save ourselves from. It’s about God saving us and healing the darkness inside of us. What a beautiful picture!

The story of my writing is not done yet. No, I don’t have people knocking down my door wanting to publish my book. In fact, no one has knocked. But I felt God speaking to me again last week.

He is asking me to write in the dark now.

I can’t see where my story is going to go; I don’t know if it will ever be published or if it will only be something I leave behind for my children to read some day. What I do know is that I need to be faithful in the little bit of writing I do each day. And leave the rest to God.