Do Your Verbs Need a Workout?

by Rachael Phillips

As a writer, I sometimes receive compliments about my books. A reader may appreciate my characters or my humor. Once I received kudos about food in my stories (“When I read your books, I know somebody will eat something scrumptious. I’ll devour a blow-by-blow description without swallowing a single calorie!”)    

But no one has ever said, “Rachael, I just can’t get enough of your verbs!”

Yet try writing a story without them. In romances, heroines and heroes would not flirt, flounce, fight or kiss. In mysteries, nobody would deduce, shiver, quiver or solve. Or die. Who reads mysteries in which everyone stays alive? Verbs keep the story interesting.

Given their importance, perhaps they should receive more attention. Too often, my verbs degenerate into couch potatoes, content to be, not do. “I AM” never denotes lethargy when the expression refers to God Almighty, the source of all creativity and energy. But too many forms of “be” (am, are, is, was, were, been) stagnate my scenes.

Superfluous “ing” verbs also drain a scene of vitality. They often clump together, clogging my manuscript, but a quick search helps me identify and smooth them, restoring movement to the story. Do you use “going to” in your writing, as in, “She is going to study platypuses in Australia”? Colloquial phrases such as this work in dialogue, but in narrative, the scholar and maybe even the platypuses (if they’re English majors) will fare better if she “plans to study” or “aspires to study.”

Bottom line, present or past tenses project much stronger action than “ing” verbs, so use the former whenever possible.

Verbs in active voice (“The octogenarian drives a purple convertible”) also trump verbs in passive voice (“A purple convertible is driven by the octogenarian”).

Lastly, experiment with vivid verbs. Overuse produces a big-plaid-with-floral-print effect (“She detonated the room with her presence and disseminated hellos, guzzling drinks and demolishing hors d’oeuvres”). But a well-placed, unique action can polish a paragraph to a spit-shine. 

So drag those verbs off the sofa and prod them into action. If we exercise to stay in shape, why shouldn’t they? 

The Initials Have It

I was so glad Joe Allison wrote about Gilbert Morris earlier this month. I really like Gilbert Morris. I read the first 12 books of his House of Winslow series. I lost count after that because I started college, moved away from home, etc.

It was Rev. Morris who introduced me to phrases like “thick slices of homemade bread” coupled with “strong coffee” and good men who had “vice-like grips.” I remember noticing how important simple, but good, food was to his characters – especially male characters. I know women authors include food in their stories, but it’s treated differently in stories written by the opposite gender. Which leads me to a couple of male authors who also featured food in key parts of their stories – J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis.

If you have read anything I’ve written for the blog so far, it will not surprise you that I favor these two gentlemen, and their stories. I love the worlds they created and truths they imparted through characters who have never been, some that could never be, but seem as real as your next door neighbor (probably more so).

So how’d they do it? As a writer, I want to know. I, too, want to produce worlds and characters that are so real to readers they may even dare to believe the truth woven through out them. THE truth. The truth that will set them free from sin and death, and give them life they didn’t know exists, a life eternal in harmony with their Creator.

© dracozlat - Fotolia.com

I’m sorry, but to a mind that does not know Jesus, this is fantasy. THE truth sounds like outrageous fantasy. And this is, in part, why I believe fantasy is the perfect vehicle to show the truth of the Gospel. As it turns out, I’m not alone.

I stumbled over a book in the library where I work called War of the Fantasy Worlds C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien on Art and Imagination by Martha C. Sammons. I wasn’t able to spend as much time with it as I would like. I hope I can in the future. What I did find so interesting about Sammons book is that she explores how Lewis and Tolkien met, how they worked, what their processes were as writers, their definitions of fairy tales, creativity, imagination, just to name a few things. If you would like to get to know the men as authors, this is one way.

If you didn’t already know, Tolkien was Catholic and Lewis was Anglican. Both were believers. Just as they chose different ways to worship God, they also had very different ways to express their faith in Him, as their stories attest.

As I see it, Tolkien’s “Hobbit” and “Lord of the Rings” series are rich with spiritual truths (truths I thoroughly enjoy gleaning every time I “visit” Middle-earth) while Lewis on the other hand like to write allegories, specifically the Chronicles of Narnia. If you are familiar with the Bible, you know who Aslan really is. If you’re not, you have been introduced to the lengths God has gone to to reconcile us to Himself.

I’d like to quote a small passage from Sammons’ book from the last section,

“The Great Story of the Gospels, which is both myth and fact, contains all elements of the perfect fairy tale. Each of us is also a character in the Story. In turn, our sub-creative works (a Tolkien phrase) are stories within this Story. Both Tolkien and Lewis mention stories within stories in their novels, reminding readers that they exist outside the work itself but are part of a greater narrative.”

I don’t know that I agree with everything she said, but the more I learn about “story” the more I’m convinced it is God’s favorite way to help us understand who He is and who we are in Him.

Just to set the record straight, while I really like and admire J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, their names have nothing to do with why my pen name also starts with initials. I didn’t even notice that until I started writing this month’s blog. I will say, for the record, that we three do share another favorite author – George MacDonald. I’ll save talking about him for another month.

Humbly submitted by H.T. Lord, hopeful sub-creator of new and fantastical worlds of light and truth

What Do You Request from Proofreaders?

Smart authors realize the wisdom of getting others' input on their manuscripts. Some authors use "Alpha" readers, which some define as readers who provide feedback on a story as the book is being written. Others rely on "Beta" readers, who take the finished the manuscript and comment on the whole work before it gets submitted. (And yes, the two groups can overlap.)

No matter what you label the friends and colleagues who provide feedback on your manuscripts, you need to decide what it is you're asking them to do. Unless you tell them upfront, those helpful ones won't know for sure how to help you.

I call upon different friends to read and comment on various projects. A couple are fellow authors, but not all. Successful authors are busy people, so they might know their stuff, but they have many demands on their time. I prefer to call upon well-read acquaintances who love books and can articulate what works and what does not in a story.  

I don't keep a formal checklist of questions, but I here are some points I especially ask my readers to keep in mind:

1. Do NOT worry about hurting my feelings. Writing is business, and if anything about the story is ho-hum or worse, it does me no favors to pretend the manuscript is fine exactly as it is. Be brutal! Point out things that need more polish no matter how badly I might like to finish the project.

2. If you sincerely do like the story, that is great. BUT, don't just tell me you like it. What could make it better? Can a character be improved? Are there scenes that drag? Anything about the title rub you the wrong way? Could you see what was coming too easily? Anything that might add intrigue or suspense? Other ways the story could be strengthened?

3. Is the ending satisfying? If not, what went wrong for you personally?

4. If my readers have the time and inclination to catch typos, grammatical errors, mechanical glitches, etc., I love that. But I ask them to put more stress on the story itself. If the story puts them to sleep, no amount of technical perfection will help it to sell. (By the way, line-by-line editing is time-consuming and tedious. Consider hiring a professional if you want this kind of help, since it's quite a huge chore to request as a free favor.)


Are there other points you writers request of your proofreaders? If so, please share them!

Rick Barry has freelanced hundreds of articles and short stories, had two novels published, and has more projects in the works.

In which characters are multi-faceted

I don’t know what it is about hotels, but they never seem to provide a good wi-fi connection in the rooms. Whether the Hyatt or a Super 8, I never get a good signal. Because of this, I end up going to the lobby, where the signal is strongest, to check emails and other social media.  Blogging doesn’t get done because of time constraints.

It was in this state of annoyance that I found myself in the beautiful Cody Hotel lobby in Cody, Wyoming. (I highly recommend this fabulous hotel!) It’s a beautiful lobby, very spacious with lots of over-sized chairs and couches to sink into. I found a corner in the little library nook. The light was off, but light from the main part of the lobby spilled into the library and provided just the right ambiance. I settled into a comfortable chair and put my feet up on a luxurious leather ottoman to recharge my batteries during a hectic family vacation.

Or so I thought.

Cody Hotel Library Nook (http://thecody1-px.rtrk.com/)

That morning, I’d used that same spot to connect to my email and my quiet little sanctuary was invaded by a spry couple in their 70s seeking to use the hotel’s only guest computer. That evening, the same couple came barreling in and found me in the same spot. I bet they thought I’d been there all day.

They didn’t greet me, just came in, flipped on the light, and created enough of a distraction to ruin my quiet respite. As a writer, I observe everything about everyone. The word that came to me about these two was “entitled” and “privileged.”

They were dressed very well. He in a tweed blazer and khaki dockers with penny loafers, and she in a cute pant suit with a blue jacket. She was petite and he was tall and slim. I figured they’d spent their lives as professionals of some sort. Perhaps he was a doctor. The way they held themselves and interacted said “money.” 

Piano at The Cody

 For about 30 minutes they wrestled with printing their plane tickets and scurried away.

Leaving the light on.

I sighed, got up, and turned off the light.

Now, these were probably two of the nicest people you’d ever meet. But the way they just flipped on the light sent a message: we are of more importance than you. Maybe it’s just my low self-image, but wouldn’t most people ask before flipping on a light? And wouldn’t most people turn it off afterwards? 

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Perhaps they had too much on their minds. Maybe they were stressed about a family member. Possibly they were traveling because of a family tragedy instead of pleasure. Or, perhaps, they are just used to getting their own way, doing what they want, when they want, how they want. Then again, maybe they saw me as an irrelevant part of their existence. A peon not worthy of respect or consideration.

 

Who knows? As a writer, I can imagine all sorts of scenarios. This may be why I’m careful not to judge people’s motives. I know there's a story behind everything someone does. Behavior is communication. People behave the way they’ve been conditioned to behave. Their background educationally and socially has a great bearing on how they interact with the world.

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This is why as writers, we create characters who are multi-dimensional. No one is perfect, and people react to their circumstances based on their past experiences. Every character should have a past the writer is aware of so that the dialogue and interactions with others is deeper and richer in a story.

What do you think of the little couple I observed? Do you think they were rude or just distracted? Do you think they had money or just had great taste in clothes? Create a story using them as the main characters. Where were they going with that plane ticket?

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A Salute to Gilbert Morris

Many of us know Gilbert Morris through his classic book, How to Write (And Sell) a Christian Novel (Servant Publications: 1994). It's probably the best-informed "how to" book about the Christian historical novel, because Rev. Morris has had more experience writing this type of book than anyone else who's ever lived.

He wrote his first novel when he was nearly 50 years old. Now 85, he writes an average of a novel a month. More than 130 of his novels have been published, selling more than 7 million copies.

Visit his website and see his interviews, where he shares his work habits (he dictates those novels, then edits transcripts) and the vision that motivates him to continue writing. Here's a link to his video page itself: http://www.gilbertmorris.com/about.htm

I'm currently reading Dr. Morris's turn-of-the-century novel, A Bright Tomorrow, and I'm struck by how fast the plot moves. Perhaps it's a reflection of the author's fast-paced writing method itself, but also an important reason why his stories are so popular. They read like the breathless Gospel of Mark, where the Lord goes "immediately" from one scene of ministry to another. So take a tip from a masterful Christian writer: Keep the story moving.

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Joe Allison and his wife, Judy, live in Anderson IN, where Joe serves as Editorial Director of Discipleship Resources & Curriculum for Warner Press, Inc. Joe has several nonfiction books in print, including Swords and Whetstones: A Guide to Christian Bible Study Resources. He's currently writing a trilogy of Christian historical novels set in the Great Depression.
 

Visit Joe's blog at http://southernmtns.wordpress.com